Friday, September 4, 2009
To inject more fun into reaccreditation task force meetings (and it's always fun to mock jargon), committee members recently were asked to create marketing plans for various "environmental scanning" devices. Here for your entertainment are a few of the funnier products and the marketing plans:
1. Fingertron Orbital 2100: Environmental Scanning for the 22nd century.
Provides an opportunity for independent digitally controlled E. S. satellites adding functionality beyond standard human digital detection systems (aka fingers).
Prevents burns, cuts, lacerations, detachment.
Heavy duty mylar glove component which is not only hot wired for ES but shark-bite proof for underwater use.
Electronic waves powered by the sun also provide a space-age manicure and neo-conditioning for optimal skin conditioning.
Accurate geo-spatial mapping for precise measurements as needed--architectural reviews, interior design.
Environmental Scanner 2
Compact, portable, user-friendly.
Changeable accessories (like skins)
Can be highly visible or hidden depending on
circumstances (i.e. Philander's Phling or classroom seminar)
Can detect auditory feedback up to 50 radius in low-high ranges.
Convenient for holding other scanning tools such as spectacles and sunglasses, bluetooth, etc.
Market on radio or with bullhorn
Perfect for February in Gambier
Special poly/cotton/wool clothing keeps you warm in singer with a single layer.'
Pretreated in thermal dynamic heat substance (trade secret) typically used for clothes by arctic explorers.
Comes in casual, dressy, or athletic.
No more bulky sweaters or jackets
Environmentally friendly because its made from recycled clothing.
Material expands or contracts--pull to make larger; squeeze to make smaller. One size fits all.
Images by Ellen Harbourt
More examples to come in a later post.
Posted by Laurie Finke at 9:15 AM